When Home is Despised

By Shina Orodele
I have many feelings for such folks, but the most distinguished are love, pity, and contempt.
It could be that he lost his job or not contented with the job offers he was getting. It could even be that he calculated in his mind that Nigeria could only get worse, did some mathematics and concluded that the money he would get from any job he found in Europe or US once converted to Naira would be a huge amount. He never planned to stay abroad. No, he planned to work in whatever way possible, even like a slave and return to Nigeria to live like a king. Well, whatever the circumstance or force that made him bolt abroad is not our concern.
Our concern is that our guy returned to Nigeria after about four years or so and started to speak like a White man. He hardly speaks Yoruba or Pidgin English with his friends. He now speaks English in a fake English accent and speaks Yoruba like an Englishman learning to speak Ijebu dialect. He deliberately mispronounces Yoruba words and claims to forget what some things are called in Yoruba.  You would have such a person around you or have come across one in your area.
For such folks who after spending just a few years abroad claim not to know how to speak their native language well anymore and now speak European or American accented English, I have just one thing for them, and it is love. I love people who amuse me no matter how stupid they appear or act. How can you hate a fool?
She was ambitious and believed there was a timeline for someone to get rich, build a house and get a nice car. However, the circumstances in Nigeria weren’t cooperating with her ambition, and she was exceeding her timeline. So she decided to seek a greener pasture and went abroad, probably the US or UK. Now, we are not concerned about the job she did over there, ole lo ba omo je (there is dignity in all labours except stealing).
We are concerned that our lady returned to Nigeria and every opportunity she gets, she will remind us that she has traveled abroad. ‘When I was in the UK….’, ‘what nonsense….we don’t tolerate this in the State’, ‘oh my God!……try this in France and you will rot in jail’, ‘Gush…… is this real? I wish I never came back’, ‘mehn…..I can’t wait to go back to New York’. You must have come across such a person, especially if you are a service provider.
For such folks who will not let us hear words other than retelling their time abroad and comparing every situation in Nigeria with how it is in Europe or USA, I have just one thing for them: *yinmu*. If you don’t understand Yoruba, you may need to seek someone who does to explain to you. It will be preferable you seek one who uses the internet regularly to get a proper knowledge of yinmu with asterisks.
I believe a man should spend his money as he wishes especially when earned legally. It is on this note I have a category for individuals, mainly politicians or public workers that travel abroad at every instance to treat themselves of even the slightest ailment.
This category of people believes in their warped minds that the hospitals in Nigeria are not equipped enough to take care of them and the medical workers are not well trained enough for them to lay their precious lives in their hands. Well, that is no problem, every mind is entitled to his belief no matter how ridiculous it is.
However, the outrageous fund they spend on transportation and medical expenses is of concern to us because they are often public funds – stolen funds. This category of people are the occupants of our legislative, executive and judicial seats. They are everywhere, and you can even name five without thinking.
For such folks who travel abroad to seek leisure and medical treatment primarily because Nigeria cannot provide such services but are in the position to make such services providable, I have one thing for such individuals: Pity. You will think I will have hatred for them, no, I can’t afford to hate a lost soul. I can’t afford to hate a weak soul. I can’t afford to hate a useless being. I can’t afford to hate a living dead, a being dead to himself and dead to the world. How can I hate someone who can’t imagine how stupid the nurse attending to him abroad for little ailment as toothache and earache thinks of him that he has to travel all the way from Nigeria for such minor treatment? How can I hate someone that has lost his sense of reasoning, who cannot reason to make his country as good as the countries he travels to when he has the capability to do so? For such people, we should only pity their condition and pray they get well soon.
They are young couples, maybe they just got married and the wife is now pregnant. They are both employed with a pretty good income, living in a good house, probably rented, though they can also afford to build one if they want. They both have a nice car each. Many poor folks will call them rich. But this couple does not think of themselves rich. They think that under a more favourable circumstance, they will do better. So they concluded that their children deserve a better life and the only way to secure that is to make them a citizen of a better country by birth. Therefore, the wife will always deliver in the better country of their choice. This is a common practice in Nigeria for many people who can afford airline ticket out of the country. You must have seen one or two couples who fall into this category.
For such folks that travel out of the country primarily to deliver their babies, I have one thing for them and that is contempt. This category of people are the most dangerous of all the categories. While they might not have committed any crime by their actions or debased reasoning, they pose a potential danger to the safety, prosperity, and well-being of the nation. We cannot guarantee the loyalty of such individuals to the country. They, in the first instance have tagged the nation’s situation as hopeless and beyond redemption, hence, they tried to save their children from such a failed nation. The loyalty and productivity of such individuals are also questionable. They may not be able to give their best in whatever they are doing. They have already given up on Nigeria. Worst of all, such individuals are threat to the security of the nation. Any person that is working in the military or any of our security agencies that falls in this category should be closely monitored. They are the easiest people to compromise and betray than any category of individuals. Who says they will not trade the country they have lost hope into the country of their children which they believe in and also hope for a future in?