It is more than a decade. To be precise it was in 2006, yet till date Femi derives joy bringing up discussion on the event at any opportunity he gets. Any time he wants to bring up the discussion, he will make a mischievous smile and his eyeballs will grow bigger like that of Ojuyobo-General, then start relaying the story. I am afraid one of these days I am gonna give him a good backhand slap. Abi wetin sef. Haba After all these years he still thinks he can mock me.
It was that year when we were still bearing the title, Jambito, some of us bonded more closely and it happened that three of us stayed in the same area. I was staying in Kez Villa, Femi was in Presidential Villa (Presidential indeed. Lol. I will have my pound of flesh some day when I explain the luxury Femi enjoyed in this Presidential Villa) and our other friend whose name I will not mention stayed in another Villa that was nameless because it couldn’t be named (I can’t laugh).
It happened that we used to visit one another at home, eat together and sleep together sometimes.
Then our other friend got a girlfriend. She was possessive and our friend was susceptible to possession. We could just be together discussing and this babe would just come up from nowhere and called our friend’s name, ‘let us go, I am going o’ and our friend will leave us. We talked to him to be in charge but he thought he was in charge.
I had taken note of how the babe always liked to have our friend to herself alone and the unwelcoming manner she acted when we went to our friend’s house, so I stopped going to his house and would only meet in school, my house or Femi’s. However, Femi was still going to his house once in a while. Femi was more tolerant and had time for (sirenren) 😂😂.
It happened that our friend stopped coming around and we hardly had time to chat in school. So one weekend, Femi and I were together when he asked when last I saw our friend. I said it has been a while and I stopped going to his house because of that girl as I wouldn’t allow one small girl to be disrespectful to me (not sure if I was older than her. lol).
Femi told me that the girl had been disrespectful and no longer greeted him. I told him he caused it and that she dare not try that with me. She had been greeting me and showed no sign of disrespect when I saw her on campus.
We agreed to go check our friend. We were 99% sure we would meet his girlfriend at his place as it had become her second home.
When we got there, we met the lady and she quickly pretended to be busy and greeted us by making some sound we could not make meaning from then went out.
Femi brought her reaction to my knowledge (like I had no eyes to see for myself) but I said it was because she was busy. Femi shook his head in forced agreement with a meaning of ‘okay o’. (‘she wouldn’t be rude to me nw’ I told myself).
We came at the right time. They just finished cooking rice and stew. Our friend stood up to serve us. When the spoon was kissing the pot and making sound, we heard a loud voice from outside, it was the voice of our friend’s girlfriend, she must have heard the sound of the spoon clanging the pot. She shouted: ‘Lagabja! Rora se obe yen o, ma mu eja ninu obe yen o. Mo ti so temi o’. (‘Mr! be careful with that stew o, don’t take any fish from that stew o. I have said my own o).
I looked at Femi, Femi looked at me. I don’t know whether he was trying to laugh or he was angry. The reaction on his face is not easy to describe. I told our friend not to bring that food to me. He said : Se oro obirin lo fe ma ka si ( Do you want to be taking a woman’s words seriously?). I didn’t say anything. I had concluded within me I was not going to eat the food.
He placed the food before us. The girlfriend came in murmuring and went to the pot, looked at the pot and kept murmuring. That was when I changed my mind, I ate the food and took my time to chew the fish to her annoyance. She stood at one corner while she watched the three of us eating before she went out hitting her legs on the floor angrily.
Now, where the problem is that immediately we left there Femi started laughing and mocking me about how the girl ‘washed’ me. I don’t understand, were we not washed together?
Femi later narrated what happened to a few of our friends who also enjoyed making me the object of laughter. Even till date he still brings up the discussion once in a while and people laugh at me. I don’t know what is funny there and why I should be the object of laughter.